The Reality of an Oppressive Society

In the so called conscious community, I know most believe reacting to a post is supporting and celebrating other cultures and ethnicities without actually getting to the meaty core and unthreading systematic oppression and white privilege. That’s a very superficial way of support, and no I’m not saying to not incase there are those that will distract the issue at hand with stupid comments.
Without being educated on the issues on what people of colour are enduring in the world today, it’s easy to hide hidden racism and pretend to be a spiritual person.  It’s never enough to pretend that these issues are important to you without educating yourself and living your truth of genuine care. To believe racial issues have nothing to do with you is feeding systematic oppression. I also see the very few shares on the topic and I know why, because then those that speak up will have to actually make a stand and live what they speak. Without having discussions and living what you ‘react’ to in the cyber world, you have to ask yourself, why are you pretending? What shame are you hiding to avoid the truth?

The ‘conscious community’ have a fantastic way of diverting serious topics with bullshit beliefs to gas light their way through not taking responsibility.

As I wrote on my page this morning:

To the beauties that have asked how can you help in regards to racial abuse and unthreading white privilege, two things you can start is realising and acting on unthreading white privilege, and speak up on the subject.
Not just once, but all the time. Make your own realise there’s no privilege because you and yours have been stripped of your own culture to believe and feed this system that is being held up by your ancestral pain of not being healed and connected to your own. That’s the truth of systematic oppression and should be widely spoken and continually by those that hold the reigns of an oppressive system for ALL LIFE not just human.
Speak up and stand against racism that includes in private conversations and don’t tolerate it. Tolerating it is accepting it and fuck that. Do your own research in this subject. It is not up to a person of colour to teach you, that again is feeding privilege.
Speak up and keep speaking up. Keep educating. #breakthesystem

As I explore my roots further, I realise there is so much here beneath what my people have gone through than I can ever imagine. I know I have a responsibility here to say, I’m not accepting your racist and subtle racist bullshit because I can smell it on you. How dare you come to me for support and you don’t like or respect where I came from? How fucking dare you believe in that poison and continue to spread it around?

Regardless of what colour earth you are, you may see similar struggles of oppression and severe abuse in your own thread. And no, I will never say the same, and can I even use the word similar, really no. I use it in hope that by realising what your people have gone through you can connect your empathy to what mine and others have gone through, and through this can we slowly see how we have all been hurt..but much of this hurt is not going to go away without acknowledging what indigenous people and people of colour are still enduring today. Those racists that scream ‘to get over it,’ seriously who the fuck are you to ever say to another human being to get over their trauma? That shows how far away you are from your own pain and the privileged reality you live in.
Not sure how comfortable it is to live over there and pretend you feel nothing because it has nothing to do with you, while your own ancestors are hurting because you’re not connected to your own roots and culture. No ones winning here.

With much realisation, I sit with the dilemma of doing what I love, healing people, but realising much of systematic oppression is so deep that there is people I can share wisdom and knowledge with and deep down they hate myself and my people. That’s an unfortunate truth. I have heard people say they hate Chinese people but they go to ‘them’ for healing because ‘they’re’ great at what ‘they’ do and ‘I like their food.’ I’m Chinese too. That’s the poison that’s out there.

So where does it leave me? I don’t fucking know.

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Mongolian shaman, my beloved people.

The Sickness & Sensationalism of Witch and Shaman Aesthetic

Yes, it’s a sickness. Fuck yeah it is a sickness. The ones that don’t really know anything. The ones that need smoke and mirrors around because at the core of it, it’s attention seeking driven be a deep insecurity of not knowing who they are and their unresolved wounds.
I always say, compare it to our ancestors, how earthed and grounded is each person that claims witch or shaman?  Not hard to see it, not hard to smell it. Always remember, the focus of earth practices is connection and healing. Anyone real in who they are and what they do, does not need the smoke and mirrors and the fanfare of bullshit marketing to look like something they are not.
When we speak of witch or shaman, anyone in the healing arts, it’s rooted to the earth. Rawness. There’s an intrinsic understanding of human nature and connectedness that you feel when you’re in their presence or when you read their words.

Anyone can research through reading other people’s books, reword shit and claim it as their own filling in the gaps with their perpetual rubbish and a tiny amount of intuition.
Earth practices when it’s real, breaks you open over and over again offering the wisdom, knowledge and understanding from the experience.
There’s not just one initiation with the mystery, which are significant growth points in a witch or shamans life that takes usually years to move through and within that is the medicine they are to share with the world growing into who they really are. It is painful, deep and a book can’t be written about it because it is that deep, and why would you want to share something so deeply personal of your own spiritual experiences? It is something you keep within family. Pass it to your children, teach them more about their ancestral gifts and threads. It’s not just a series of shitty events with a tiny bit of insight, it’s much more than that and would be impossible to know where to start to share if the person actually experienced it because now, the word initiation is being thrown around and here we have another word that holds fuck all essence.

The sickness of the superficial image of witch and shaman has a poison to it that many don’t understand or see, because when you get fuckers that are using the image to feed their neediness and lack of self awareness, their behaviour and words pull on on the neediness of others feeding the sensationalism they think this image is, and that stems back to a lack of healing. Pulling on open unresolved wounds of their audience keeping people from actually doing the real healing work that witch and shaman actually is.
Where there’s fuck all healing, our earth, which is all of us won’t heal keeping people disconnected from our planet.

Do you see this big ball of fake fuckery and the damage it is actually doing? Yet it should be the primary source of healing when known and practiced correctly.
Stop feeding the fuckery loves. The stupid books that makes no sense, the oracle cards and fucking dumb so called tours with a pack of tarot cards, no one with their feet on the ground does these things.
The realness of those that really do walk this, they want to keep it real because the focus is on healing community and our beloved planet.
Because we know that disconnected humans mean more pain for earth. That is not what we would ever encourage nor the limelight of self focused egotistical shit.

Know the difference.

Traits of a Spiritual Narcissist- (pt 1)

I’ve been reading and healing people for a long time. I started reading when I was 16. I was born with the natural gift of sight and mediumship ability and I love what I do. My healing abilities ‘woke’ when I was 25 and I began body sessions offering my services to begin with for no exchange. So a long while. I’m 44 this year and I’ve seen it all in so called spiritual communities and I’m sick and tired of it. Actually that’s an understatement.
From toxic narcissistic practitioners to clients that are just the same. This will never stop, because toxic clients that are stuck in their patterns and will always be seeking attention only to avoid their issues, and toxic and narcissistic practitioners will always be in any spiritual community because it’s a strong supply of attention and pedestaling they need to survive. First I want to say, not all toxic people are narcissists but all narcissists are toxic.
So I’m going to begin with what toxic and narcissistic behaviours to look for in practitioners, then also what practitioners should watch out for in clients.
There is a big difference with a person wanting to acknowledge and heal toxic behaviours and this absolutely can be done, but a toxic person that either isn’t ready to, or just doesn’t want to which can edge on narcissistic traits. We all know narcissism cannot be healed. This will be a two part blog loves, there’s a bit I want to share.

Let’s start with narcissism in practitioners, healers, readers, ‘spiritual leadership’ also transformational workers, tantric workers, witches, shamans, new age whatevers, and of course counsellors, art therapists, psychologists and just goes on and on. It’s anywhere and everywhere.

There are different types of narcissists and I’ll cover the main ones I have witnessed in spiritual communities. Please know, some of these can overlap. This is just a bit of helpful knowledge for you, and one to observe to keep yourself safe. It’s a deep concern of mine as someone that heals. This does not help heal the earth which is all of us, and I encourage for you to keep growing your self awareness and be committed to your healing practice so you don’t find yourself in this position over and over again.

Traits of a narcissist 

This describes the classic narcissist, and these traits are included in the covert and the inverted narcissist which I will mention.
Let’s not forget the malignant narcissist which can be well hidden within spiritual communities too.

Classic narcissists are attention seekers who love to brag about their accomplishments and absolute expect others to flatter and compliment them. How often I’ve witnessed this behaviour in spiritual communities is outstanding.
Can be from the smallest thing of ‘I bought a new car to look at my new tattoo.’  Then we have the ‘I’ve been a practitioner for X amount of years’ and they tend to mention this often which makes them feel it gives them dominance over the profession, that they know it all so please everyone stand up and clap.
They’re the ones that love the constant selfies and sharing really personal information that may or may not be true. They love the spotlight and will use anyone or anything to get it. They love to name drop and they have this air to them that you absolutely should be putting them on the pedestal because in their mind they are better than you. The more knowledge they accumulate, they more they expect this.
They love conversations to be about them, and them only and can get jealous really easily though they may not show it. They just may ignore you or down play your own achievements, or even pick at the faults of what you have achieved.
They get bored easy, and there’s always the next something to do which of course will be announced so they can get a standing ovation for it.
You are their supply of self importance and any need they want fulfilled.
They don’t apologise for anything because they don’t believe they have to. They usually have a really polished public appearance as well.

Observe communication. Is it warm? Does it have a disconnection feel to it where it lacks connection? Or does it lack boundaries. It’s usually one or the other or both.
Is there a harshness in their communication and demeanour?
Are they pushy, controlling and get angry when you do, believe of say something wrong that doesn’t justify that kind of response?
Do they talk themselves up a lot?
Whether online or in person, observe their moods and their openness or lack of.

Most importantly listen to how your body feels when you speak with them, whether in person or online.
The thing is, with narcissists they can put on this front that everything about what and who they are is exciting, and if you stand back and watch, most people will react in this way feeding their supply. Though the thing is, it’s not excitement you’re feeling. It’s adrenalin. Adrenalin from having your trauma wounds poked, then what I’ve observed is people want to part of their life or circle to feed what most people think is excitement but it isn’t. This want, is a want to be acknowledged from the trauma wounds that’s been poked, and the more they poke at it, you’ll find that you want their attention more and more. This is when you’ll see the empty and desperate compliments feeding the narcissist, and there you have it my loves, the toxic cycle goes around and around.

Narcissists are desperate to feel important. So is a person that’s had their trauma wounds poked, and are not aware of their wound triggers. So you see how unhealthy and concerning this is and I am certain you’ve witnessed this more than once.

So let’s throw in the traits of a malignant narcissist, who is highly manipulative. Their primary focus is to dominate and control others and will use aggression, deceit and will lie to get their way. They usually have this cruel streak and have no empathy or remorse when hurting others. Please remember many of these traits can overlap.

I’ve just outed a narcissist and watched her flounder around trying her best to cover herself. After purposely using the word gypsy to hurt myself and my daughter with no remorse knowing our ethnicity (gypsy is a slur word towards Romani people) I watched her first aggressively and with no empathy push the issue. The woman’s also pale so there’s privilege in this behaviour too, but narcissists believe they’re entitled to special treatment.
I watched from aggression, to panic after I made a video about it, and as a clinical psychologist pointed out her behaviour and she shut down her reviews on her page. After she watched the video, she reinstated everything to save face, but then went on to write about that she’s a narcissist slayer yet has never spoke about the issue which I have screenshots of, to going back and manipulating people with her personal issues so people can pity her, then back to selfies, smearing with bullshit on other racial issues yet no problem to rip down a race of people that is deeply oppressed to cover her arse. It’s all fuckery but only those that are self aware and actively working on healing themselves and their trauma wounds will see this.

The traits of a covert narcissist is more passive aggressive in nature, and many miss seeing they’ve been manipulated. Though in saying that, a lot if this can be missed because you may not be having a personal relationship with any of these people but I always say loves, if you walk away from any person feeling confused, doubtful of who you are, not feeling good about yourself, emotionally heavy and anxious, you’ve more than likely been manipulated. You may agree with them then and there, but that’s more out of a shock response because your trauma wound has been poked at and clearly you’ve experienced this before. So you may walk away feeling like ‘what the fuck just happened,’ a dazed and an emotionally heavy feeling. The grief will follow suit a little later because this is how the trauma wound of those that have been manipulated one too many times and this wound usually stems from their childhoods.
So you could be in session with covert narcissist or just in conversation with them, but you’ll know after you’ve walked away from one.

The last one is the inverted narcissist.
Now the inverted narcissist is a covert and vulnerable narcissist that actually needs to make connections with other narcissists to feel special. So you may see this in spiritual circles where there’s more than one leading a workshop or whatever, or just need to be seen together. These narcissists are codependent on other narcissists and usually have experienced severe childhood abandonment. Nevertheless, they have these traits along with the usual narcissistic traits and can pull on the opinions of other narcissists to shame you, and it becomes bullying in the sense that how you feel is wrong and isn’t important, and I know many many people have experienced this in spiritual circles.

Toxic traits in spiritual practitioners has a lot to do with shaming a person with how they feel and lack boundaries. They are passive aggressive and aggressive as well. Their communication isn’t clear, and they have trouble saying what they really mean, so their communication will always feel like there is an undertone to what they actually are saying, and you’ll feel this unease. It’s also a feeling like you owe them something for helping you. They emanate a poisonous feel and is always pulling people down, are highly aggressive, manipulative, but can also play the victim really well. You will know by how they make you feel. It’s challenging to be around these people for long lengths of time. The difference between toxic behaviour and a narcissist, is toxicity has troubled and wounded behavioural patterns that stem from childhood but can be healed, where as a narcissist is a personality disorder and is a mental illness. People can have narcissist traits and not be a narcissist also. Usually these traits tend to stand in certain situations because they believe a certain something they refuse to let go which points out the wound pretty clearly. It’s really important to know the difference so the term narcissist isn’t the next thing to smear a person with. It’s serious and should be spoke about seriously.

Before I end this, I need to make clear that narcissists are also highly intuitive. I don’t know why people think they are not because you need intuition to manipulate and read people very well to maintain a false image. Narcissists are usually created from deep traumas from childhood, so a need for high senses is where intuition is strengthened. So please keep this in mind. Mix it with knowledge from books, and it’s a pretty potent mix to have in alternative communities.
I hope this gives you some helpful knowledge because it is a huge problem everywhere not just in spiritual communities it’s just there are a lot of vulnerable people seeking help that can be manipulated too easy. Will be back soon for blog number two. Don’t forget to visit my offical website here –>
With love xx
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The Fear and Clarity of Narcissistic Behaviour

Once their behaviour is revealed openly they will do the opposite to try and save face of what a lot of people already know and see. The most interesting of facts is they’re more worried about being seen as a narcissist than a racist because I’ve shared and will keep sharing gypsy is a racial slur.

For a word witch not only do they not know how to spell but also if language defines a culture than what does that say about you as a person because by fuck you’re not the only person that represents your culture, and thank fuck for that.

Here’s the video before the changes this person made below: then suddenly but with no surprise here is the new about with reviews switched right on (as explained in the video:

This person is suddenly a slayer of the superficial and my favourite narcisistic (their spelling) predators. For a ‘word witch’ whatever the fuck that is love, that’s not how you spell it. The masks and pretence is falling away, funny how this person has never spoken about this before? ….


The Come Back and the Entitlement

In the last post I mentioned about the narcissist gathering, and how the need and will to gather those around them to stoke their ego hard enough to reassure them and their shitty behaviour is okay, and in this case it’s around racism and the word gypsy. Let me explain the behaviour, then I’ll go into it further with psychological facts to show you clearly what’s happening here.

After raising the topic on not using the word gypsy, particularly from a person who puts the image across of cultural acceptance and respect, the response we received from the narcissist at hand was for them to post a photo of themselves, say they’re not playing victim and yet they are with the public display (which comes to no surprise, classic narcissistic behaviour). Of course with no apology to the Romany people, that wasn’t expected but what was is the behaviour happening again which I will share more below. This person goes onto say that ‘we are doing nothing but selling more books for her.’ Racism and narcissism, classic behaviour thinking that doing it again will provoke an emotional response, which is what they want because their tunnel vision and belief they are entitled and how dare they be shown up for their shitty behaviour that they will never be responsible for. Sorry darlin, no emotional response here, you’re showing yourself up and each behaviour is confirming to me and the world the real you beneath all the glamour bullshit, so keep fucking yourself up nicely, we’re all sitting back with popcorn because it’s classic narcissistic behaviour.

Before I share a few psychological facts on narcissistic behaviour, let me add that an empathetic and compassionate cultured person will respond with exactly that, with empathy and compassion – not here, remember it’s a narcissistic world.

From psychology today:

One word that will help you understand the narcissist

To begin, the most helpful word in framing an understanding of the narcissist is “counterintuitive.” The most crucial point is that how the narcissist presents on the surface is entirely different from how the narcissist feels underneath. There are two “selfs” at work in the mind of the narcissist: their real self, and the fraudulent, fantasy self they try to sell to the public. Severe narcissists have a predatory, score-keeping approach to the social world around them. The narcissist’s daily life is spent fighting off potential threats to their ego and proving themselves as superior to everyone around them, and they have little peace of mind as they move through life.

In the mind of the narcissist, the social world includes two strict categories: winners and losers. There is no possible outcome they can conceive of in which everyone gets their needs met. There isn’t enough attention and praise for everyone to go around, so according to narcissistic logic, only a few lucky ones will be selected. When the narcissist feels most threatened, it is because someone has said or done something that makes the narcissist feel small, unnoticed, weak, or defective, and the narcissist cannot allow anyone or anything to make him feel like that under any circumstances. The narcissist’s thinking goes like this: Any threat to her or his temperamental ego must be identified and erased immediately. If the threat continues, it must be annihilated by any means necessary.

“Narcissistic entitlement refers to a belief that one’s importance, superiority, or uniqueness should result in getting special treatment and receiving more resources than others. For example, individuals high in narcissistic entitlement think that they should get more respect, more money, and more credit for doing the same work as everyone else. Narcissistic entitlement also includes a willingness to demand this special treatment or extra resources.”

So there you have it, just a little know how to see what’s happening here and of course what’s to come. The thing is, when you really understand how narcissistic behaviour works you can stand back and see it for what it is. It’s expected because it’s patterned behaviour and anyone that knows my work well knows that I work closely with patterned behaviour. So sorry bitch, your racist and expected self absorbed behaviour is nothin new here. Like I said, I’ll give you attention but not the kind you want. Your behaviour is disgusting.

Here again is a great piece of not using the word gypsy, written by a Roma herself:


And thanks to the beautiful woman that pointed me to this amazing piece of art, love ya you know who you are. xxx



The Gathering

The gathering, as I call it when a narcissist is called out on their behaviour. They never apologise because they don’t believe there’s anything to apologise for.
Then they’ll manipulate by making it about them and all the while playing victim to what they have done. Gathering as many as they can to stroke that big ego of theirs so they can then believe they have the permission to continue with their behaviour, oh but not everyone sees it like that darlin hearts. People do see my loves even if they don’t say.
Classic narcissistic trait.
The ones that have been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse knows this well.
And let’s remember the persona that so many believe in, and the so called charisma and the glamour bullshit they love to play out because and let’s use this in context of racism, especially when some like to see themselves as educated and more, which they are not and go on and on to accept all cultures because they believe they are connected to their own, and when the get called out for being culturally insensitive and using a slur word that Romany people are working so fucking hard for modern culture to stop playing up this fantasy image that isn’t real and is actually a derogatory term towards Romany people- we are doing everything we can to educate people to not use. Let’s remember now it’s a narcissist living in a narcissistic world so let’s excuse all of them while they rotate and rotate again in their shit taking as many people as they can with them…because who are they really without no one to say ‘there there, you are awesome don’t listen to sense and human decency keep being your selfish self.’
The unconscious following the twisted, pulling on wounding like it’s a lackey band and if you let them pull hard enough, you just may get the little attention you want from them but remember it’s not for you, it’s all for them.
Here’s an excellent post on not using the word gypsy written by a Romany. Read it through it’s not a long read:
Here’s another link for you all to read. Heart wrenching, fucking painful but the truth of what’s happening and how Roma people are treated in Europe right not which is has been for happening for decades:

Let me explain one more time and it won’t be the last time, Romany’s can claim the word gypsy and if that’s you my fellow Roma, sweet as but know our background and educate yourself my darlins because it’s not okay. If you want more information and sites where you can connect with other Roma’s on social media there is some excellent groups and pages that are supportive and helpful. Get in contact with me by clicking on the contact page of this site.
There’s no place for racism and bullshit, let’s end it together.
We see ya bitch.

Live with eyes wide open

I’m going to keep saying it.

Oppression, trauma tames the spirit. Makes a person fearful to be who they really are. That’s obvious, and wildness the real you beneath it all is the one always challenging you to speak up to remember and reclaim who you are and what you know. The fire that burns you awake, the rage that wants to burn it all down. That is who you are.

There are those that speak of wildness and being feral yet will contradict what they put across because they want to believe they are the only ones that know because they have crafted a persona so well most can’t see because their bullshit pulls on people’s traumas and they want it left like that. They use confusion on the simplest topics because their shit isn’t clear enough and it continues the confusion for those they need to place them on a pedestal to believe they know. Wisdom is clarity, genuine care asks for no added attention.

We use one or the other if we’re gonna speak about freedom and reclaiming who we are beneath all the bullshit we’ve been taught. Let’s not pretend here.
Sometimes you have to state the obvious to those that can’t pull apart anything else because they’re drowning in their own insecurity and not actually moving with their knowing. They’re taking bits and pieces from other people’s work and slamming it together claiming it as their own.
Interesting to what gets exposed when you pull down the glamour and people start coming forward with their own stories.

The one thing I cannot stand is manipulation and toxic behaviour. Not all toxic people are narcissists, but all narcissists are toxic. Not all people choose to take responsibility and very possibly don’t know any better from their own experience and wounding, but the difference is they are committed to grow past it and take a serious look at their behaviour even though they have been exposed to toxic behaviour particularly if they’ve been hurt in their childhoods by their own families.

But then there are those that will confuse people with what they share, saying one thing about being loving and doing the opposite, and even go as far as saying they’re ‘different’ in context to serious issues and shrugging off the obvious that needs to be spoken about. This is something I will keep speaking about because this world is fast becoming riddled with it.

The serious issue at hand here is the trauma wounding that these people knowingly pull on. To pull on such wounds is to keep people oppressed, confused and far from reclaiming their true nature.

There’s no need to glamour when you’re real. Your wildness has a presence of it’s own. No glamour is needed to pretend something you are not because in that depth, illusion doesn’t live there something these people don’t want you to know.

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