Within the Crevices

Difference is oppressed within crevices of the earth you think you are and only discovered in its fullness each time you go deeper. It’s within the heat of rage of being told you’re not okay like that. That’s too much, too disgusting, too angry, too dark, and we’d be learning how we make people feel uncomfortable but unsure what it is or how until you go deeper and more.

For women especially, we learn to hide our too much under a false sense of self called nice. A trauma response to keep ourselves safe always knowing when we meet people that won’t respect our too much. We be knowing it, before we even think about it and when a woman be sensing more from a person, she will replay the pain of people pleasing to avoid feeling unsafe, to avoid the self rejection cycle to be triggered.

The more we know ourselves the more we discover what we’ve been hiding because we haven’t had an opportunity to know what we’ve been hiding. We learn how people have reacted to what they see and sense about us and we’ve been left wondering why or what reliving self rejection patterns spiralled grief longing to be loved and freed, words and behaviours from toxic people believing its more than okay to fuck around with someone’s self and yet they’d be not knowing shit from clay.

When we hit layers of earth within ourselves that are yet to be discovered, don’t polish her to be presentable. See what she needs to breathe in the air she needs to be free, and the earth within her that needs to flourish and live,

 

Visit the official website ——> snakeandwildroots.com.au

Change

Choice and change. Saying so because of the panic and unrest so many get caught in fearing the chaos of change and right now we’re surfing one of those deep pockets of transformation. Or change in general even if it goes smoothly.
I understand the panic and fear, it goes with old wounds associated with trauma and change and navigating unknown territory.
I understand anxiety gets hooked on feeding these beliefs which only amplifies the fear you’re already feeling so kind reminders to ground a fuck load through it and take many breaks where you can to do so.

In my ancestral practice, we look at anxiety as an opportunity to strengthen how to ground and stand in power, to strengthen inner sight and to see and be connected to knowing while we’re in it. It’s one of the most important practices to navigate through, taking you deeper each time to understand and to know, strengthening with clarity your relationship to fear, to your body, earth and ancestors. This is just another practice to ground energy and to pull up more power and it’s continual through journeying through each layer of ancestral trauma when it’s triggered.

Give yourself space to process the internal changes to embody the knowing of it.
#ancestralwitchcraft #ancestralhealing

Visit the official website ——-> snakeandwildroots.com.au

 

Trickery & Pain

The slippery choices that can be offered standing in the crossroads is neither here nor fucking there, because we all know how it can be smeared with fear and pain dressed like a sexy bitch luring you into believe the escapism you’ve created for yourself so you can have that fix and tell your pain you’re worth something if the picture is just fucking so. The stickiness of emotional bullshit, pulling on neediness that is desperately seeking love in all the wrong places that look all fucking shiny and pretty. This shit, is what is coming up for many and it’s saturated in deep grief, pain and anxiety which can be masked with too many things and one too many distractions feeding the unsettledness and the rage which is also very much part of these deep ancestral wounds.

Sticky as fuck I know, but it’s one that can change your entire direction and life if you choose to face it head on, and not just once, keeping your attention and presence around it as you move through life in your isolation box. The pressure of stillness is not one that comes up in conversation much and one that should. Living in a world that is consistently putting the pressure on to keep doing which obviously also creates a fuck load of problems which we witness everyday and it’s thrown in the fuck it bucket and seen as ‘normal’ everyday living. It’s not living it’s surviving with a huge weight on our health. The opposite of that is really looking at our well being when we stop and see the overload of what too many people carry and give very little attention to, yet it is crucial to our health and peace of mind. You can’t not expect to feel a lot and not know why or where it’s coming from if it isn’t part of your practice to keep yourself healthy from the inside out, it’s not something we’re usually taught but that also needs to change. And the anxiety and grief is to be expected and not just because of being triggered with the changes happening right now, it’s deeper and more than that. Much more. Time to turn in.

We all need to do something very different with how we live. If this isn’t obvious as fuck, then we truly are just driving ourselves towards our own destruction lead by narcissistic greedy fools that will never know the difference between their face and their arse.

These deep ancestral pains is wanting our presence and liberation, to change shit from the inside out which is the only real change because all that unresolved emotional energy creates more unconscious bullshit no matter how many times it’s squashed down in the dark, it will only grow and it keeps a person unmotivated for change stuck in shitty patterns, read that again.

Visit the official website —-> snakeandwildroots.com.au

 

snake4444

 

 

Grounding and Moving Shit- here’s a bit to stay centred.

Some of the core practices in ancestral witchcraft is grounding, protection and knowing how to reclaim power from trauma, how to heal and manage your emotional world, so when ancestral wounds that carry a fuck load of grief and anxiety, you learn how to stand in solidly and your boundary work is clean as fuck, why times like now when most are struggling to ground and hold their own emotion are easily rattled losing their centre. I understand and got your back. I also understand it can poke on old trauma wounds of not feeling safe or feeling like there’s no security. I’m going to share five things you can do to ground this good shit, and express and move the emotion that can burn out your nervous system if you don’t have practices in place. Give these a go and add your own to it. This is not the be all and end all, these are some suggestions. Listen to your body and knowing and feel what you need and take action. More time on your own and you have no excuse doing them, a heap better than swimming in fear. Give one practice a go a day then add more. I always say, slowly slowly.

Five things to do to ground and lessen anxiety:

First I want to say, if you manage PSTD or CPSTD, your main focus is to bring your fear down where you can manage the anxiety to a doable level. Nature is the best healer for PSTD, truly. The more connection you can get from our mother the better for your nervous system.
Add this practice in. Place in a 10 to 20ml bottle, drops of peppermint and lavender oil mixed with a base oil. This will bring you down quite quickly and make sure you take in the smell by rubbing some in your hands and taking in the smell.
I encourage my clients to wear the oil in areas they feel anxiety so usually chest and solar plexus and also on the temples.
Rub the oil on the soles of your feet if you’re at home, when you don’t need drive or work machinery. It’ll chill you really quickly.

Music. What will help with what you’re feeling, not necessarily relaxation because when we feel anxiety we can also feel rage, grief, frustration or confusion. Move with the flux of how you feel but with the focus to bring your energy down and centres so aiming for relaxation music. Vibration and sound is everything to help support movement of energy.

I’ve mentioned nature to ground above and I will again because the hesitation people have even just sitting in their own backyard to soak in some earth is like pulling teeth. Stay connected and grounded to our mother.

Throw yourself in an activity that is repetitious, because the repetitious movement will give you something to focus on and also relax you to ground you back into your body. You want to aim to get out of your head and into your body. The overthinking and living in your head creates anxiety, and the fear is not being in your body so any activity that can offer you to get back into your skin is something to do. Which also explains the next one.

Create. Whatever that creative practice is, focus on expressing some of the fear you’re feeling within your practice. Creativity is the doorway to knowing. Pulls you back into your body so you’re in a peaceful state of surrender regardless of how much you’re feeling, you can feel it all and be connected to your intuition and knowing. This is the place you want to live from, so more practices like this will ground you and at the same time you’ll receive intuitively anything your real self and spirit wants to share. Create your anxiety and uncertainty. Whatever you need to move the energy. And no judgement. Don’t judge yourself keep it an open and free space to be yourself.

Chill your surroundings. Fuck full lights off and put candles and lamps on. Use scent whether oils or incense. Create the atmosphere to keep you chilled and a feeling of nurturance and safety. Nothing like a comfortable cave.

Five things to do with grief:

Where there’s anxiety there’s grief. They’re good friends these two so please pay attention to how you feel. So many people are depressed and don’t even know it. So the first thing I want to share is pay attention to how you feel.
While being lost in fear, grief will show, but most are so focused on the fear they don’t notice grief. So slow down and pay attention to how you’re feeling. When we’re in our heads with anxiety, it’s not uncommon to miss what we’re feeling in our bodies until days or sometimes weeks later.
Sitting in what you feel and not dissociating or distracting it, will ground you. You’ll feel it all but you’re still connected to your knowing. This is the space you want to live from.

If you have one person that you trust to share your grief with, I encourage you too. It’s easy for most to not want to speak about how they feel because they believe they’re putting people out, but check in with your friends. You might find they’re wanting to share too and feel the same. Don’t isolate your communication with others. Keep connected regardless.

Creativity and music is the next one. Cause fuck art is the best thing to express grief. The most beautiful and potent creations come out of grief.
Paint the grief out. Make music from your grief. Write it out. Whatever works for you, use it. Within this space too you will feel not only a sense of relief but accomplishment. Finding that expression within grief is uplifting, and feeling good takes pressure off your nervous system. And art is addictive and I couldn’t think of anything better to be addicted to.

Nature. Yes nature again. Being in nature or gardening or even sitting with plants, takes the pressure off grief and pain. The grounding will bring calm and in the calm you’ll be connected to your knowing/your real self so no matter how overwhelming you feel your knowing will keep you safe because you can still hear yourself, most important.

Limit your time on social media, tv and radio for not only grief but anxiety. People are feeding the hysteria. Stay the fuck away from it.

The other, nurture yourself. Don’t think of things, I want you to intuitively feel what you need to do to nurture you right now.
Do you need to cave from the world, with your favourite movies and guitar? Do you need more rest, or just lay in bed with heavy blankets?
Whatever you need, put your self care and mental health first.

I got three things to move frustration and rage cause I’m getting lazy and want to wrap this blog up.

Exercise. Whatever that is. Rage hates sitting still, it wants to move shit so it’s one of the best emotions to create with, it’s also one of the best emotions to exercise out and be spontaneous with.
Exercise in nature. Moving rage, grounding anxiety and relieving grief. Massive fuck yeah.

Get proactive. What can you do to get proactive and empower your life and yourself that you can fuel the moving forward by taking action with the ideas you come up with?
This is one of my favourite feels cause I get shit done when I’m feeling rage and a good one to relieve frustration.
Find the empowerment within rage to break through rage. Read that again.

Create again man, art is everything.

Three things to move shame because yes to shame, I’m gonna explain this.

With some trauma wounds, feeling shame for being scared, uncertain, confused, depressed, anxious and it goes on is common as fuck. So within this, many people mask how they’re feeling and can become more manic, more angry and frustrated and also more depressed.
Shame is a cunt to feel and no one needs to feel shame when they’re feeling anxious.

To move shame, to lessen its power is to talk about it. If you’re not ready to talk about it (I understand there’s shame for even talking about it), write about it to understand it and give it a voice.
The presence when feeling shame has a natural contracted feeling because you’re not feeling enough so you naturally want to hide yourself.

So the first thing is to write about it then I would encourage you to create it out.
The expression and understanding will help unknot the contraction.

Stay present with the feeling of shame. It’s a practice this one. Nothing magically shifts by doing it a couple of times. It must become a practice. Staying present with it is you feeling it out and also being aware not to contract or hide yourself. Understand when feeling shame out, you will feel vulnerable. That vulnerable feeling is the part that you would usually hide of yourself. So stay with that loves. It’ll be pokey but fucking worth it.

I want to encourage you to speak to one person you know and feel safe with sharing your most vulnerable about the shame you feel. Know the person you’re going to share with really well knowing they have you back. Take the power out of shame by sharing what you feel.

That’s it. A few things to consider. Things most people don’t think about but it’s so needed. If you feel stuck loves, please get in touch this is what I do. Just click on the link below, all my details are in the web link. Big love xx

Visit the official website —> snakeandwildroots.com.au

Ancestral Healing: a little on unravelling Shame

Ancestral healing, a little on unravelling grief and shame because the two go hand in hand and when navigated with attention there’s three things to keep in mind to unravel the knot of the energy of a trauma wound, but also to give you clarity of what the source is so you can stand in it with knowing/power when it’s triggered again and again. And it will be and its to be expected. Wounding only lessens over time with love, presence and attention living from a place of power without dissociating from feeling it when it’s triggered each time. Most lose their footing is not paying attention when they are triggered. If you’re not paying attention to when you’re triggered, without a doubt you will fall straight back into old patterns of trauma wounds.

Healing, growing presence and reclaiming power around ancestral wounds isn’t something to ever be rushed, that comes from a place of anxiety and is a reaction from the pain itself to ‘hurry the healing’ so you can get to your ‘happy’ place and all will be well.

First, that’s unrealistic, second that’s dissociation which guarantees that you’re stuck in the behavioural and emotional pattern of the wound.
Slowly, everything should be done within your own rhythm. Slowly, shows you’re being present and loving with yourself and understanding that any step missed is a step back into your emotional pattern.

The other is, remember shame when you feel grief. They go hand in hand. The heaviness is not necessarily the pain and sadness, but the beliefs that keeps your energy contracted which is wrapped in shame.
Remember also to break down shame too, because within shame is rage, frustration, grief and anxiety- all emotion when we believe the beliefs connected to the trauma wound that we’re not enough.
It is these three things to be present with and makes unravelling shame much easier, also to understand why you’re feeling shame.

In a nutshell loves, because every ancestral wound is unique and individual to each person. How its navigated has its own pathway and has many layers to it.
If you’re ready to reclaim yourself woman, get in touch.

Visit the official website —-> snakeandwildroots.com.au

 

I love knowing I'm not the only one chasing wild between layers of darkness (6)

The Other Side of Privilege

I’m a proud multicultural woman. I love my roots and where I come from. I have spent the past weeks publicly educating people that gypsy is a slur word after white privilege pushing the issue.

After dealing with a racial situation in more ways than one, I could feel the other part of me being pulled in. I wanted to go back to my shamanic roots and reconnect with the mixture of Asian roots that I am proudly from. I’m still in it. Transforming, learning, growing, listening. To be at peace and be with what I know is real. It’s a painful waste of time to defend the bones of who you are. I wish there was no need for it. 

But I want to talk racism. The systems we live under in Australia. It’s a fact and unless you’re ethnic or indigenous to this land, you wouldn’t know any better. 

I want to start with saying, my grandfather that I never met is Romani. My daughters father has Jewish Romani blood and was also affected by the privilege of one particular person that pushed the issue and continued to use the word gypsy. Instead of an apology, white privilege pushes the issue, why? Because she can. She knew she would have the support of other privileged people. Privilege sees, ‘how dare I pull up a pale person on using the word gypsy?’ ‘Privilege screams, ‘I’m no victim’ instead of seeing that this is a humanity issue. This is not the only example and I can line up my fellow Roma’s and we all have stories to tell. Romani people are still very much oppressed in Europe. It is only now people are slowly listening and understanding gypsy is a slur word. It is only in the last three or four years people are slowly listening to what we have to say. Sad, but true. 

The beautiful thing in my experience, is minority groups stick together. I’ve had plenty of chats and support from other cultures not to mention the Romani groups I am part of and the people I know. I can’t tell you how much this helps the heart. There’s a presence and an understanding that doesn’t require words. A genuine heart connection of ‘I got you.’ I also want to shout out to the beautiful loves that have surrounded me and my daughter on this issue. You know who you all are. I appreciate you all for giving me the care and understanding to speak up. For supporting us and showing me your humanity. It only brings people closer and I’m grateful for it. Some of you also may not see it as a big deal because the word gypsy has been romanticised and it is not what most people think it is. But this post isn’t about explaining this again. If you want to know head over here: Romani Alliance 

This is about racism and pale privilege. My parents came over to Australia by ship and met over here. To sum it up, my mother is mixed European and Romani and my father is mixed Asian. Both speak more than one language. Both have accents. My mother is pale and my father is what most people will describe as black but I call him brown because that’s what he is. I’ve never met a black person but varying shades of brown. 

I have watched both of my parents experience racism. Every member of my family has and for myself personally I still do. These systems we live under are created for pale people to benefit from and for the rest of us to believe a skin colour is better than the rest. This toxic belief has ripped through cultures with such ferocity. And many pale skinned people still live by this, and there are many that are working through this trauma and toxicity and I say thank you, because you’re healing more than yourself. Because it is a trauma to believe one colour of the earth is better than the other. It is a trauma to have your own culture destroyed to believe in something that not only keeps you from knowing who you really are, but the pain of not knowing your ancestors and your own roots. I can understand this can be a reason why people hold onto what they have been taught, but I say to you friend- go deeper. For you, for the earth, for all of us. 

I have a tonne of experiences to share but I’ll just point out a few foundational ones. When I was six, my father came home bleeding and bruised because eight pale European men he worked with waited for him to finish night shift and beat him so bad he couldn’t see out of his eyes leaving his face and much of his body bruised and swollen. Why? because he’s brown and Asian. I remember how that made me feel, and it does affect you. The first four years of schooling I was picked on by the same four white girls that called me derogatory names for having brown skin. This started when I was five and didn’t end until I left the school. I was pushed by two of them and cut my head open the exact outcome they wanted. How do I know? Because they laughed as blood was dripping down my face. I’ll never forget the hatred behind it. My brown skin made them sick. Every day they told me I was disgusting. They weren’t punished, and it won’t come to any surprise to you one of their mothers called me a racist derogatory name and denied it when my mother confronted her. Said I imagine it. Not only racist, but too scared to be honest about it when confronted. 

My next primary school more white kids told me that my brown skin was disgusting and it wasn’t till my indigenous brothers and sisters pulled me aside and said, ‘don’t worry sis you come hang out with us.’ They’re understanding and compassion saved me as my rage grew over through my teenage years because this shit didn’t lessen and not because it was just my personal experience. I hate racism. I don’t understand how people can hate so hard even with all the reasoning and trauma experiences behind it. I don’t understand this kind of hatred. 

I watched pale men speak to my mother likes she’s stupid because she has a strong accent. Like she’s their property for them to sleaze over hoping for a fuck. In my late teens I would go out with my father and have pale skinned men look at my father like he’s a piece of shit and that some how he’s taking advantage of me. I would walk past them and yell ‘he’s my fucking father’ most of them would look away embarrassed. I bring this up because this is what I now experience with my daughter. She’s 19, paler skin than myself and every time we go out I am looked at like I’m abusing her. We don’t know any of these people and of course they don’t know our relationship. It hurts her and I try not to let it bother me. All the people that look at us that way have pale skin. So unless your ethic or indigenous you really don’t know how alive and well white privilege is.  And majority of those that scream ‘go back to your country’ have pale skin and they’re not even in their own country, go figure. 

My indigenous brothers and sisters have been nothing but understanding. What does that say about the toxicity in this country? And the people running it and the people benefiting from the systems that are in place to feed this separation and toxic belief? 

The thing is with racism it cuts bone deep and shouldn’t exist. No person is more than a tree or animal or another person. We’re all earth. Everything else is trauma I believe this wholeheartedly because when you’re deeply and authentically connected to your own roots, there’s no racism you just see beauty. That kind of connection and evolution looks at difference with curiosity and not hate. We’re all indigenous to a patch of land. It’s all beauty. 

This piece below I found powerful and want to leave it with you. This is necessary for all of us to heal.Blog post, not long and written by a recovering racist. I share because this covers so much from a pale person that explains her privilege and what she was taught. It’s worth the read: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ecopreacher/2019/01/recovering-racist/utm_content=buffercb20e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=FBCP-PRX

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The Come Back and the Entitlement

In the last post I mentioned about the narcissist gathering, and how the need and will to gather those around them to stoke their ego hard enough to reassure them and their shitty behaviour is okay, and in this case it’s around racism and the word gypsy. Let me explain the behaviour, then I’ll go into it further with psychological facts to show you clearly what’s happening here.

After raising the topic on not using the word gypsy, particularly from a person who puts the image across of cultural acceptance and respect, the response we received from the narcissist at hand was for them to post a photo of themselves, say they’re not playing victim and yet they are with the public display (which comes to no surprise, classic narcissistic behaviour). Of course with no apology to the Romany people, that wasn’t expected but what was is the behaviour happening again which I will share more below. This person goes onto say that ‘we are doing nothing but selling more books for her.’ Racism and narcissism, classic behaviour thinking that doing it again will provoke an emotional response, which is what they want because their tunnel vision and belief they are entitled and how dare they be shown up for their shitty behaviour that they will never be responsible for. Sorry darlin, no emotional response here, you’re showing yourself up and each behaviour is confirming to me and the world the real you beneath all the glamour bullshit, so keep fucking yourself up nicely, we’re all sitting back with popcorn because it’s classic narcissistic behaviour.

Before I share a few psychological facts on narcissistic behaviour, let me add that an empathetic and compassionate cultured person will respond with exactly that, with empathy and compassion – not here, remember it’s a narcissistic world.

From psychology today:

One word that will help you understand the narcissist

To begin, the most helpful word in framing an understanding of the narcissist is “counterintuitive.” The most crucial point is that how the narcissist presents on the surface is entirely different from how the narcissist feels underneath. There are two “selfs” at work in the mind of the narcissist: their real self, and the fraudulent, fantasy self they try to sell to the public. Severe narcissists have a predatory, score-keeping approach to the social world around them. The narcissist’s daily life is spent fighting off potential threats to their ego and proving themselves as superior to everyone around them, and they have little peace of mind as they move through life.

In the mind of the narcissist, the social world includes two strict categories: winners and losers. There is no possible outcome they can conceive of in which everyone gets their needs met. There isn’t enough attention and praise for everyone to go around, so according to narcissistic logic, only a few lucky ones will be selected. When the narcissist feels most threatened, it is because someone has said or done something that makes the narcissist feel small, unnoticed, weak, or defective, and the narcissist cannot allow anyone or anything to make him feel like that under any circumstances. The narcissist’s thinking goes like this: Any threat to her or his temperamental ego must be identified and erased immediately. If the threat continues, it must be annihilated by any means necessary.

“Narcissistic entitlement refers to a belief that one’s importance, superiority, or uniqueness should result in getting special treatment and receiving more resources than others. For example, individuals high in narcissistic entitlement think that they should get more respect, more money, and more credit for doing the same work as everyone else. Narcissistic entitlement also includes a willingness to demand this special treatment or extra resources.”

So there you have it, just a little know how to see what’s happening here and of course what’s to come. The thing is, when you really understand how narcissistic behaviour works you can stand back and see it for what it is. It’s expected because it’s patterned behaviour and anyone that knows my work well knows that I work closely with patterned behaviour. So sorry bitch, your racist and expected self absorbed behaviour is nothin new here. Like I said, I’ll give you attention but not the kind you want. Your behaviour is disgusting.

Here again is a great piece of not using the word gypsy, written by a Roma herself: https://stopwhitewashing.tumblr.com/post/29107539178/im-sorry-but-no-you-cannot-never-will-you-be?fbclid=IwAR1p6bi1qmpe3c4wj854F9VBiJYgVJFl3pVvSe7GCs-y4dV4MxKH-wi9sxs

GYPSY IS A SLUR WORD, STOP USING IT.

And thanks to the beautiful woman that pointed me to this amazing piece of art, love ya you know who you are. xxx

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http://www.niagaradetroit.com