It’s mother’s day here today, love to all mothers especially sole parents and loves that have lost children. Thinking of you lovely ones have a fantastic day.
The rest is for those that don’t have a relationship with their mother and their family.I want to acknowledge the loves that a day like mother’s day presses on, the loss of family and never really fully understanding what it feels like to belong to a family because you were scapegoated, and you either had no choice to leave or was pushed out. This is for you.
I want to acknowledge all the navigating, introspection, healing, the exhaustion and the pain and consistently rebuilding the foundation of what self is without abuse. Your commitment to your love of self not just for you, but if you have children you chose better for them too. I acknowledge your loss and I also acknowledge your resilience.
People do not understand what it’s like to heal such deep wounding from relearning what family is. Who you are without the abuse and the space to breathe and know who you are within and underneath the pain. To learn what community looks like for those that have no idea what it feels like to be accepted, all of you not just what you can do for others when you’re caught in the people pleasing trauma response out fear of being abandoned again. I want to acknowledge the loves that learned the destructive side of mother in her wounding and had an intimate relationship with her from a young age and learning to accept the power within this pain.The time you’ve taken to heal you.
Let’s also never forget our Mother the earth. Our all and everything. Please love and spend time with her. Love yourself by loving her. She desperately needs our presence and connection.
Community is one aspect that takes centre point 2021. I will go more into it when I upload the reading on my FB page on the 30th. Below are a few self reflective questions, and we begin with looking at the relationship you have with the earth and the land you live on. I’ve seen people speak about having a relationship with the earth but not knowing anything about the land they live on and it’s history and if they do, the importance of respecting it and there’s a whole heap to talk about here too.
Your relationship with your ancestors gives you a strong foundation to build on and the earth you are made of. How well do you know where you come from? What do you know? What can you do to strengthen your relationship to self, your ancestors, to the land/s your from? Do you have connection to the ethnic communities you’re made from?
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What’s your relationship to family? This is not to say if you don’t have one it hinders your growth as a person. That shit needs to stop. There are other ways of establishing roots besides staying in contact with toxic family members. Not all ancestors and future ancestors are going to like you or get along with, facts but there is a way of honouring family and your roots without being made to feel guilty because of those that are too wounded to have healthy relationships with. People have to understand that not tolerating toxic and abusive behaviour from family members is also liberating ancestral threads. Sometimes the most peaceful and respectful thing to do is walk away.
Looking at the relationship you have with self but also with others. What needs your attention to transform to come into relationships with others that hold depth and meaning? What are your boundaries like? Do you offer the same loyalty,safety and presence others give and vice versa?
And, have you begun decolonising? Understand upholding christian holidays and why.te supremacy (is also ws) isn’t liberating our earth, ancestors or self. Whyte colonisation and structures have much pain associated with our ancestors which we feel deeply of we’re paying attention.
This is some examples of the depth of looking at grounding to build solid community and support for yourself. It really is getting to know you so fucking well that when you step into community you feel safe and not bypassing unhealthy patterns out of need that deep down you feel resentful for. It’s getting crystal in these areas & walking it.
Ancestral liberation is individual to each person. And the depth of it will take you into places you need to transform and you’ll know how and why when you travel deep enough to grasp the understanding of the ancestral pain that needs ongoing expression, presence and transformation/healing.
When new age and inexperienced practitioners that do not have an active healing practice in place, or just not at the point where they should be doing this work because they’re far from ready, will shame others for expressing rage and anger when it’s justifiable to mould how they believe a person should express their pain because they haven’t dealt with their own. That’s also an abuse of power.
Cultural appropriation still is happening from those that have read my posts and many others on this issue along with antiracism and whyte supremacy. Whyte centred platforms that clearly are not antiracist and culturally appropriate are still be followed and supported by those that have read shit on this subject a thousand times over knowing how it affects BIPOC.
People who call themselves witches, shamans, readers, healers, counsellors, therapists whatever are still enabling this behaviour or playing a part in it. That’s not reclaiming power, thats abusing power when you know you’re upholding whyte supremacy, monetising off spiritual practices from marginalised groups. Practices that connect people to the earth, land and their ancestral spirits and you know this and yet still fucking continue.
That disrespect isn’t empowering or liberating anyone it’s doing the opposite. You’re not empowering yourself or your ancestors. There’s no reclamation of power here just more oppressive fuckery, and that includes oppressing yourself. Do you know the potency and power of liberating not only your ancestors but those of others through your self awareness and healing is liberating and healing earth. One of the core practices of ancestral witchcraft.
Ancestral spirits flow through the practices they know that connects them to their land and people. All the power and your own earth practices are in your own ancestral thread. If you don’t know how to reclaim them please get in touch. This is all part of decolonising and dismantling the system from the inside out is returning home.
I yearn to take up space in a wilderness that lives inside me, the lands I’m made of. When water wasn’t monetised and placed in a poison called plastic. And nature wasn’t hurting the way she is now, and live the feral that I know I am. The wild that screams for expression and not live under a code of oppression, of falseness and superficial happiness.
Hearing the internalised screams of grief and rage suppressed under materialism and capitalism with every living being you connect with just wanting to breathe and burn away the sickness too many believe in.
Feeling the sadness from the lack of connection and interconnectedness our ancestors are screaming to return to. To remember the respect and integrity we had for all life and the soil we honoured, and the celebration through ceremonies of life and death.
I remember, and we fight on.
You’re like a spider woman with claws trying to rip open shit with a nastiness and distaste that drips fierceness from your tongue.
Tracking for threads of truth within her rage from a blinding pain that is all consuming when she’s misunderstood and her grandmothers that live inside her are not seen. Polishing her finds with the saliva of her ancestors, delicately placing each piece of wisdom on the shelf to lead her back to who she is. Collecting magic with her hands from deep within the earth, her elbows begin to grow roots and she becomes the wildness that she remembers.
Protector from violence she becomes, as she soaks up the volcanic liquid that meets the lava inside of her and spills from her mouth and between her legs and that’s when the world wills her death when she becomes more than can ever be understood.
A power that fills her from the mud she likes to smear over her body. A reminder that her ancestors live inside of her as she reaches for their bones deep within the earth. And with everything she knows, they still try and silence her rage from being heard, even from women that say they understand but haven’t ventured deep enough to know it in their bones.
As her lava spills and hardens to create new surface, she collects all the fuckers that try to destroy her and suffocates them with her fire. Give no fucks, be the bitch that only the earth understands because of the love you hold and have for Her. She understands why death is important and why woven skins that violate her is fucking necessary.
It’s a stirring that never goes away. A chaos that’s deep in the marrow. A burn that’s lived through the rage of all the women before you. A scream that’s eternally lived from centuries of pain from the tribes I am from.
No matter how you expect a woman should be, she will never be what you want her to be no matter how hard you try to make her fear her fire. It’s a furnace of heat that will melt your fucking insides with the sting of her words and the trickery of her niceness.
Understand, if you take the light out of her eyes you’re creating something you don’t want to fuck with no matter how meek and complying you think she is. A darkness is stirring that will swallow you both whole, but only one will make it out alive.
I’ve had my bones broken in many places and set them back together with the wisdom from my grandmothers loved back with the chaos I was born and taught to fear.
You can’t destroy a woman that is made of death that enjoys inflicting pain and sewing lips with whispered words of hate that she is made of. The misconception that you’re going to be some fucking nun when you rewild and come back to the woman you are is a fucking lie. You live the rawness of nature and the ferocity of your ancestors honour. Think before you try to smack a bitch down because she will rise with her people behind her.
When the fuck are cunts going to learn that we don’t break, we burn.
I ain’t going to pretty it up for the war thats comin.
Difference is oppressed within crevices of the earth you think you are and only discovered in its fullness each time you go deeper. It’s within the heat of rage of being told you’re not okay like that. That’s too much, too disgusting, too angry, too dark, and we’d be learning how we make people feel uncomfortable but unsure what it is or how until you go deeper and more.
For women especially, we learn to hide our too much under a false sense of self called nice. A trauma response to keep ourselves safe always knowing when we meet people that won’t respect our too much. We be knowing it, before we even think about it and when a woman be sensing more from a person, she will replay the pain of people pleasing to avoid feeling unsafe, to avoid the self rejection cycle to be triggered.
The more we know ourselves the more we discover what we’ve been hiding because we haven’t had an opportunity to know what we’ve been hiding. We learn how people have reacted to what they see and sense about us and we’ve been left wondering why or what reliving self rejection patterns spiralled grief longing to be loved and freed, words and behaviours from toxic people believing its more than okay to fuck around with someone’s self and yet they’d be not knowing shit from clay.
When we hit layers of earth within ourselves that are yet to be discovered, don’t polish her to be presentable. See what she needs to breathe in the air she needs to be free, and the earth within her that needs to flourish and live,
Choice and change. Saying so because of the panic and unrest so many get caught in fearing the chaos of change and right now we’re surfing one of those deep pockets of transformation. Or change in general even if it goes smoothly.
I understand the panic and fear, it goes with old wounds associated with trauma and change and navigating unknown territory.
I understand anxiety gets hooked on feeding these beliefs which only amplifies the fear you’re already feeling so kind reminders to ground a fuck load through it and take many breaks where you can to do so.
In my ancestral practice, we look at anxiety as an opportunity to strengthen how to ground and stand in power, to strengthen inner sight and to see and be connected to knowing while we’re in it. It’s one of the most important practices to navigate through, taking you deeper each time to understand and to know, strengthening with clarity your relationship to fear, to your body, earth and ancestors. This is just another practice to ground energy and to pull up more power and it’s continual through journeying through each layer of ancestral trauma when it’s triggered.
One of the most common fears women share about stepping into her power is being seen as crazy. It’s up there with ‘I don’t want to hurt anyone with my rage, and what if they don’t like me and leave ?’
It speaks volumes as women how we are conditioned to fear our individuality, our true self expression. Not the trauma response of ‘nice’ and people pleasing, but at the core of how she really feels and who she really is.
And those trauma responses woman, listen to them. Learn to be present when you’re feeling something from another person knowing you can’t be your real self with them. Watch this so you don’t turn it inwards believing there’s something wrong with you and you spiral down into self rejection attacking yourself and contracting your power.
The oppression we all know is to contain a woman’s power so she can mimic and obey the oppressed masculine. Obey or you’ll be rejected, isolated and ostracised.
And women do it to women too, it’s an ingrained dysfunctional behaviour to void the feminine unless she’s obeying to something unnatural and false to who she really is so it feeds the conformed expectation of colonisation.
That trauma response of masking niceness with people pleasing because there’s a strong fear within her that she knows when a person expects a woman to behave to the oppression of colonisation, and if she doesn’t there’s something wrong with her.
Anything outside this bullshit box is crazy and will be rejected even those that say they don’t but refuse to be inclusive by not living the mindfulness and presence of inclusion and instead falls reign to colonisation and white supremacy which should also show you that to unthread, understand, know and be present with this bullshit inside it takes inner work and daily presence.
Now that I’ve laid that out, this week I will share a little about reclamation of feminine power through goddess myth untangling the religious influence of upholding this power as a statue on a table usually named as an altar which I don’t use (and I’ll explain why in my next post) instead of living the embodiment which is what the practice be.
To be continued.
Wildness isn’t a picture of a white women in boho clothing using a racial slur towards my people to describe what they fucking are not and never will be. We’ve seen the pictures with stupid arse memes describing what a wild woman is not.
The depth you must evolve into and towards when speaking of ancestral witchcraft and shamanic practices is none of the above. That’s white washing of earth practices and the misunderstanding of wildness.
You live the power and depth of mystery and that is an ongoing evolution to stand in the fire of who you are and your own ancestry. It is feeling, expressing, and being all human emotions with fuck all guilt, which includes rage women and I’m going to touch on that again. Ancestral healing work goes hand in hand with ancestral witchcraft and shamanic practices in order to live and pull up ancestral power within the deepest wounds in our lineage. If you’re not emotionally healing, your practice is aesthetic, an image of what witch is not.
Ancestral liberation is emotionally expressing the power which is the freedom of you and your own ancestors and the pain that has been oppressed in your own thread.
This wildness holds fire, darkness, depth and freedom. Much of the time it is tumultuous, and learning to hold and express that fire with no fucks given. That includes rage. People speak of authenticity yet pass consistent judgement on women that have fought to stand in her fire. Wildness is the mystery naked and raw within us. Ever moving, fierce but always loving whether you understand her expression of woman or not.
Don’t even fucking try to shame our rage, and I’m speaking for women of colour. We have so much unvalidated rage and the niceness that white women try and gaslight, guilt and want us to be, is the cunty oppressor within her. There’s a sprinkle of some amazing white women I’m surrounded by, those that have listened and validated my rage wanting to understand. To the rest, unlearn that woman and let’s walk beside one another because black lives matter and being anti-racist is not a fucking trend.