Oppression of the ‘Crazy Woman’

One of the most common fears women share about stepping into her power is being seen as crazy. It’s up there with ‘I don’t want to hurt anyone with my rage, and what if they don’t like me and leave ?’
It speaks volumes as women how we are conditioned to fear our individuality, our true self expression. Not the trauma response of ‘nice’ and people pleasing, but at the core of how she really feels and who she really is.
And those trauma responses woman, listen to them. Learn to be present when you’re feeling something from another person knowing you can’t be your real self with them. Watch this so you don’t turn it inwards believing there’s something wrong with you and you spiral down into self rejection attacking yourself and contracting your power.

The oppression we all know is to contain a woman’s power so she can mimic and obey the oppressed masculine. Obey or you’ll be rejected, isolated and ostracised.
And women do it to women too, it’s an ingrained dysfunctional behaviour to void the feminine unless she’s obeying to something unnatural and false to who she really is so it feeds the conformed expectation of colonisation.

That trauma response of masking niceness with people pleasing because there’s a strong fear within her that she knows when a person expects a woman to behave to the oppression of colonisation, and if she doesn’t there’s something wrong with her.

Anything outside this bullshit box is crazy and will be rejected even those that say they don’t but refuse to be inclusive by not living the mindfulness and presence of inclusion and instead falls reign to colonisation and white supremacy which should also show you that to unthread, understand, know and be present with this bullshit inside it takes inner work and daily presence.

Now that I’ve laid that out, this week I will share a little about reclamation of feminine power through goddess myth untangling the religious influence of upholding this power as a statue on a table usually named as an altar which I don’t use (and I’ll explain why in my next post) instead of living the embodiment which is what the practice be.
To be continued.

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Ancestral Witchcraft & Shamanic Practices: On wildness and women

Wildness isn’t a picture of a white women in boho clothing using a racial slur towards my people to describe what they fucking are not and never will be. We’ve seen the pictures with stupid arse memes describing what a wild woman is not.

The depth you must evolve into and towards when speaking of ancestral witchcraft and shamanic practices is none of the above. That’s white washing of earth practices and the misunderstanding of wildness.

You live the power and depth of mystery and that is an ongoing evolution to stand in the fire of who you are and your own ancestry. It is feeling, expressing, and being all human emotions with fuck all guilt, which includes rage women and I’m going to touch on that again. Ancestral healing work goes hand in hand with ancestral witchcraft and shamanic practices in order to live and pull up ancestral power within the deepest wounds in our lineage. If you’re not emotionally healing, your practice is aesthetic, an image of what witch is not.
Ancestral liberation is emotionally expressing the power which is the freedom of you and your own ancestors and the pain that has been oppressed in your own thread.

This wildness holds fire, darkness, depth and freedom. Much of the time it is tumultuous, and learning to hold and express that fire with no fucks given. That includes rage. People speak of authenticity yet pass consistent judgement on women that have fought to stand in her fire. Wildness is the mystery naked and raw within us. Ever moving, fierce but always loving whether you understand her expression of woman or not.

Don’t even fucking try to shame our rage, and I’m speaking for women of colour. We have so much unvalidated rage and the niceness that white women try and gaslight, guilt and want us to be, is the cunty oppressor within her. There’s a sprinkle of some amazing white women I’m surrounded by, those that have listened and validated my rage wanting to understand. To the rest, unlearn that woman and let’s walk beside one another because black lives matter and being anti-racist is not a fucking trend.

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Woman: Darkness & Transformation

The experience of guilt when transforming away from those you have felt connected to, whether family, friends or partners, or all of the above is a wound and trigger we revisit over and over again each time we grow and we feel the pain of letting go, of death.

So let me speak about shame, toxic behaviours, care taker role, guilt, rage and depression/oppression.

All the above is saturated with shame, grief, rage, PSTD, anxiety, fear and the fear is fearing self rejection and the isolation that women we’ve experienced one too many times.. when we choose or have chosen to step into our power and value ourselves. We don’t know how long we’ll spiral down into the depths of our darkness each time we break open again.

We’ve been shamed, ridiculed, put down, abused and abandoned if we have chosen ourselves in the past. For some women growing up, we have experienced this pain again and again, then in adulthood and it has been a reoccurring pattern to the point of really fearing stepping into and reclaiming her power until she decides no more. That is not to say you won’t experience it again each time you choose you, it means you choose you and feel the emotions with presence so you can grow from them.

Now, this grief, even the shame and fear of reclamation of our power, there are gifts within our power within each layer emotion and wound.
See the fear and emotion you need to navigate through as the potency of your power. Each layer needs to be worked through, felt, and understood to reclaim wisdom and knowing for you to stand grounded and solid in your fire. For your power to be earthed.

You know darkness, which is the feminine, why our matriarchal lines are more dominantly felt because our experience is primordial. We know what it is to be woman. We hear the whispers of knowing through our bodies, our wombs, our breasts. We know how our bodies relate, speak and know the earth. We don’t feel the disconnection or separation with Her because we know.
Why we feel our Mother so deeply…and the darker and oppressive your experiences in life has been my loves, it is the potency and grounding your power needs for you to be able to carry and walk it.
You were never broken, we don’t break, we die, we weave and rebirth over and over again just like our Mother.

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The Current Energetic Weather

Bear with me lovelies, I’ll try not to make this too long, but what I want to offer you is an understanding to the current energetic weather as we now have four planets retrograding- Jupiter, Pluto, Saturn and Venus. We’ll have a fifth next month which will be Mercury.

Now the whole retrograding thing isn’t a thing unless you make it into one. The reason why I share is to support sensitives, the loves committed to their healing practice, and some that are experienced and still learning to move with their emotional body. When a person is fixated on healing one particular wound and the energy shifts and they’re left feeling more emotion and don’t understand why, this is the reason why I speak of it so you don’t lose your footing while you’re in deep and it eases a trauma response for some.

I understand on social media when planets retrograde some communicate it in such a way that can be quite dramatic adding more fear to the lovelies that are learning to move with their own natural rhythm which takes time. This adds to the trauma response of fearing change and emotion which can add fear to an already emotional person. I share to cut through the bullshit. That is another shit show no one needs.
So let me explain briefly what now till September looks like and the inner material that will surface within this time frame. I’m going to give you an example of it as well.

The focus as I’ve mentioned in a couple of posts, is on power dynamics and old belief systems within relationships. These belief systems are formed from one too many traumas and skews how we view ourselves, our bodies, our femininity, our self expression, the same and opposite sex, the way we relate to the world.

If we, as an example, hold onto negative beliefs on men, that effects our relationship with everything and everyone not only with ourself. That’s a fact, because that energy is blocked and shut down to loving experiences by choosing not to see with clarity. It is also a protective mechanism and darlins, let me say if you’re in this space, all good. All good because I understand it takes a fuck load of time to heal. Go at your own pace, no judgement here, I’m merely explaining and offering a common example of how belief systems affect us.

So as an example of how this may come up, is say an old lover returns, which is quite possible and wanting to talk over an issue that you both were struggling with.
As a possibility, you may have reacted from the pain of an old belief that dismantled and destructed your relationship because you believed it so strongly. I also want to add here, reacting to protect yourself isn’t a bad thing either if needed. Not everything is black and white as a lot of ‘spiritual’ people would like to have it, sometimes it’s needed. In saying that, the example I’ve given is an opportunity to go deeper than you have before and really feel and listen to the energy of how this belief is affecting you and your life and the way you’re viewing the world.

There’s a fuck load of emotional charge behind these beliefs loves which is what we’ll be challenged to look at and explore.
It’s breaking the isolation of old ancestral wounding to liberate and love the self and open to experience the world with love, and not isolate ourselves in rage and grief.
If you get stuck within this time please connect with me.

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Ancestral healing: let’s talk about shame

How long have you been hiding in shame not knowing it?
The dense feeling of I can’t be too much, what does it matter if I stand out or not? It’s safer here in the dark not saying too much, as you laugh nervously to hide the rage you feel from yet again another fucking comment to silence your voice. Common as fuck for women. We have to deal with this shit show a lot and whether you’re a woman walking her power or not, it doesn’t matter. The influential and ingrained toxicity of patriarchy will make sure your voice is small, and fuck off to that.

Let’s look at the ‘not be taken seriously’ and the expectation to not to take up space women. And that becomes a fearful belief for so many women incase oppressing toxic cunts have some bullshit to say so you can slip quietly back into the box of not too much which is exactly what they want you to do, and that can get fucked too.

There’s not a person that hasn’t experienced shame, the healthy kind but then there are loves that have experienced toxic shame, and we know this don’t we women, but also please spare a thought for BIPOC, trans and queer women. The shame and trauma is layered and can become heavy and dense and we learn how to exist in the shadows, we adjust to not having a voice and not being seen hoping no one will notice so they don’t poke at the pain of belittlement again because we know the spiral of grief attached to this.
This is why women we need to take up as much space as we can to slowly break the shame cycle.

Deep deep ancestral wounds my loves, shame has two distinct components of push pull of reacting on the anxiety and adrenalin that comes from trauma of it and it can be a reactive bitch as panic and anxiety is. You can’t sit still and you don’t wanna sit still and there’s a good chance you may either self destruct from overreacting or sink too far in grief to hide again if you’re not paying attention and healing with presence when the wound is triggered.

It is also layered with rage and contraction, pulling our self expression so far in we don’t want to be seen or heard, and self doubt festers as does the confusion.
I take my clients into working with the two distinct threads of working with shame that feeds the panic when we experience toxic shame. Toxic shame belittles a person to a point they feel so bad about who they are that in extreme cases it feels like it’s breaking them too fearful to be seen, to speak how they feel out of fear they will be put down again. Overtime, people adjust walking to this heaviness making excuses why they can’t or shouldn’t speak up or be seen no matter what the circumstance. I’m going to take you deeper to understand shame a little more whether on here or my facebook page Snake & Wild Roots
or here. Shame feeds in the hidden, and it’s a deep ancestral wound for all of us and for some us deeper than most. It’s a big layer of where freedom lives and necessary for our happiness, peace and well being.

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Descent into the lower worlds

Her eyes are black, full of wisdom and spirit and endless opportunity to sink further and further with each question you’re intrigued to ask. Her hair is full of questions from those that got lost in her magnetism losing themselves in their own delusion of her, sacrificing their own peace for a slice of life that will never be their own. Seeing their future in her presence as the whispers of their own insecurities weaves the next thread of inner adventure coloured with distraction and anxious promises to what may never be.

Losing consciousness, her mouth moves slowly to sound out each word like you can’t hear. Spellbound, you follow her into the web she touches lightly and you feel it moving through parts of your body.
She smiles and touches one of the threads while giving you the look you know when life changes again.
‘Move like the serpent,’ as you feel your eyes heavy drawing you into shamanic worlds. Warm earth and bones with ancient markings tells you it’s time to dream only to wake in nothing but dark. Smoking herbs and the sound of rattle taking you further into the land between now and forever.

‘Look to the ocean when it’s dark, the answers are waiting for you there’ is what is etched on the cave wall and I read it on my stomach.
-descent into lower worlds

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(Dai woman, Chin tribe Myanmar)

Chin woman

Trickery & Pain

The slippery choices that can be offered standing in the crossroads is neither here nor fucking there, because we all know how it can be smeared with fear and pain dressed like a sexy bitch luring you into believe the escapism you’ve created for yourself so you can have that fix and tell your pain you’re worth something if the picture is just fucking so. The stickiness of emotional bullshit, pulling on neediness that is desperately seeking love in all the wrong places that look all fucking shiny and pretty. This shit, is what is coming up for many and it’s saturated in deep grief, pain and anxiety which can be masked with too many things and one too many distractions feeding the unsettledness and the rage which is also very much part of these deep ancestral wounds.

Sticky as fuck I know, but it’s one that can change your entire direction and life if you choose to face it head on, and not just once, keeping your attention and presence around it as you move through life in your isolation box. The pressure of stillness is not one that comes up in conversation much and one that should. Living in a world that is consistently putting the pressure on to keep doing which obviously also creates a fuck load of problems which we witness everyday and it’s thrown in the fuck it bucket and seen as ‘normal’ everyday living. It’s not living it’s surviving with a huge weight on our health. The opposite of that is really looking at our well being when we stop and see the overload of what too many people carry and give very little attention to, yet it is crucial to our health and peace of mind. You can’t not expect to feel a lot and not know why or where it’s coming from if it isn’t part of your practice to keep yourself healthy from the inside out, it’s not something we’re usually taught but that also needs to change. And the anxiety and grief is to be expected and not just because of being triggered with the changes happening right now, it’s deeper and more than that. Much more. Time to turn in.

We all need to do something very different with how we live. If this isn’t obvious as fuck, then we truly are just driving ourselves towards our own destruction lead by narcissistic greedy fools that will never know the difference between their face and their arse.

These deep ancestral pains is wanting our presence and liberation, to change shit from the inside out which is the only real change because all that unresolved emotional energy creates more unconscious bullshit no matter how many times it’s squashed down in the dark, it will only grow and it keeps a person unmotivated for change stuck in shitty patterns, read that again.

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A bit of temptation

Each layer of skin peeled one after another is really to bring you back so you can walk your power without losing your shit somewhere and all over the place. It’s not to attain a fucking thing and the closest thing to enlightenment you’ll achieve is a bleached arsehole if that’s your thing. Think messy and there you are, you’re at the beginning of knowing yourself. Man it’s all getting a bit boring.

So what if we instead looked at the pockets of juice that is wanting a little distraction and a little destruction. Those pockets of ‘what ifs’ layered with desire and darkness, and some of it shamed for being taboo or just because you like something too much that maybe ain’t good for you or you just know deep down if you go there it’ll transform your world, but how that will be is another thing. It’s those places of hell yeah and hell no you want to make a bridge between. How much fire and pain can we unearth here even just for a little bit? Because these spaces are bitey and full of trickery and most people know they’re playing themselves with their own weaknesses most of the time, but the pull of that need within that place you love to indulge and run from is worth the time to know. Can you say you really know yourself without challenging these spaces and know your own limitations and soft spots that are seeking a lot fucking more than a big dick and a bottle of Beam to soothe it.

I know when we enter here it will take everything you have and the best of you, so why not if you get a bit of naughty play that you want to tell no one and everyone about. Who is the person that lives in this space?

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I love knowing I'm not the only one chasing wild between layers of darkness (6)

The Provocation of Darkness

Nothing will ever be a straight line when you’re claimed by the darkness, and that’s how we love it. We’re made for riding chaos till we know how to direct and stand in it. Loving the destruction for all the spontaneity and the transformative fire that it is. The feeling of pain is ecstatic in this depth when you can hold it with presence and let it reveal the ancestral wisdom beneath it all , for the love of mystery. No I never get sick of living what I’m lovin.

I had a conversation yesterday about the provocation of darkness in both it’s meanings. The feeling of desire that darkness entices but also evokes and it’s really this ecstatic energy of pure creational force when it’s on the edges of the unknown and however this spontaneous energy emerges into, the peak of risk and not knowing is enticing to those that have lived with trauma and know the feeling well of consistent uncertainty that feels almost desirable when it’s been trained to think it’s love. Though don’t we learn when we’ve repeated the same bullshit for long enough how those two feelings can be mistaken for the same experience, when it is and it isn’t. It is because it opens the same doorway to creation and mystery, but how it’s repeatedly opened is the issue. Is it because you are in control of your own chaos and know how to direct it to open more space for transformative healing, or are you doing it creating painful destructive experiences that open the same door to know but you never walk through it because you’re not walking your chaos with presence and understanding? Big fucking difference.

Most seduced by the darkness of witchcraft, don’t usually understand what they’re opening or what they’re seduced by believing the stereotype of what witch is not, and not understanding how vast that opening is. Where you’ll see some deep dive here and there, and/or chaos constantly showing up to strip the lies they’re choosing to live because this wildness we walk ain’t going to let you shit in the woods and call yourself a bear. It will kick you in the cunt over and over again whether you get it or not. You opened the door, now take responsibility basically. This is not a road to nowhere and everywhere that is half lived. It will ask for the very best of you, so all that childish cultural appropriation shit so many adults choosing to be distracted and let’s not forget disrespectful with, will keep them binded in one place circling their shit and believing they’re growing, ya know trickery. Being fucked by your own hidden fuckery growing the never ending thirst for real power that will never be if you’ve entered this with betraying your own self respect and lack there of for our mother.

This space where so many live their own tricks because they can’t see or transform what is needed to surrender to what they’re chasing and running from all at the same time. The depth of their own ancestral wisdom used against them. You know, the provocation and trickery of one’s own darkness.

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The Smell of Bone Mother- moving with nature

I remember a time I was sitting at my desk working and I sensed the rattle of bone mother, of death. Acknowledging the presence, I kept working and stayed present with what I felt throughout the days, and sure enough I watched one ending happen after another. No resisting, just moving and navigating with what I felt and saw and open space to what is I needed to put to rest. It is a practice. It isn’t something we switch onto but through experience you cultivate a deep respect for death and the cutting wisdom and presence it offers, and as painful as it can be, it is what it is and resisting it only creates more pain, more anxiety, more rage and even desperation if you resist it for too long. Desperation to try and keep shit together the way it once was which only creates more chaos and destruction and will heighten anxiety where you feel you’re out of control as fear does when it’s constantly being fed. And don’t we all learn the fucking hard way.

Let’s not forget our friend grief. Grief is a potent doorway to knowing. It anchors us in our bodies and to the earth offering insight we may never receive without experiencing emotional heaviness. It pushes us to explore the deep, to cave and connect to wisdom that is hidden within the darkest places. Who we really are beneath the many layers of pain, and death our dear friend will highlight many losses so we can reclaim our real selves and take a hard fucking look at what we haven’t loved yet about the person we are, or even know about ourselves. The clean white bone truth can be painful but fucking liberating and freeing.

It opens infinite space and a feeling of safeness even though it may be painful and shit is all over the place but you’re grounded no matter how overwhelmed you’re feeling. That connection to knowing gives clarity within emotional chaos. It makes space to grieve and to acknowledge feelings. To be rooted with clarity because you’re moving with your knowing. That opens the channel to see clearly while standing in the aftermath of which pieces to pick up, and the opportunities that presents itself. Opportunities we may miss if we get lost in emotion and resisting to embrace and accept what no longer is.

It’s learning to practice to move with nature. Not all situations are going to be comfortable or pleasant, but practice being grounded lessens anxiety and strengthens trust in yourself which in turn strengthens knowing. That strengthening in knowing is fucking everything and is the real you. When we live who we really are, we move with the rhythm of nature, and that my loves is what I leave you with for now.

If you’re struggling with anxiety and depression right now and needing clarity with how to manage it, or a reading to give you clarity, visit the official site here —-> snakeandwildroots.com.au