Under molten lava
Soon to be
Ash of crow and bone
Flesh is no more
Intricate scripted skin
Inked with indigenous blood
I’ve been gifted the thread
Now I weave my way
To become my own death
Fire ablaze
Thrashing from the core
Death feels like your body
being dragged
Over sharp rugged stone
Skin ripping off to always
Expose the bone..

And I welcome it

Smiling, staring death in the face
Writhing in pain for the love of it
This is when death becomes sexual
Aroused by the love that makes you
And the love that breaks you
Ecstasy wrapped in fucking nothing
How quickly the blood turns cold
If you choose to stop moving

So you got to keep questioning
This is where magic happens
Gotta make sure the weave is
Knotted in all the right fucking places
And you know when you can rest
Lost in the in between

The place between layers of earth
On a great bed of bone
Whispering all the right wisdom
Bringing you back home
From nothing that is something
You rise with all the colours they are
This raging movable fire
Forever calling you back home
To die over and over
To live the freedom you haven’t been yet
To live the freedom that you always are.

Written by Astara Lak’ech

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The Difference



This frustration you have
This guilt you keep pointing at me to feel
I want you to take this poison you choose to be and slit your chest open with it
Put your fingers on your heart and feel if it’s beating right
You can scream and you can cry
But don’t tell me about it
I’m not fucking interested in your self indulgence
In your projection of blame
It’s because of this poison people like you have destroyed the things and people I love
Made purity impure with your self deceit
Your lust to weaken yourself and
Give into the conformity of those that will never give a fuck about you
So you tell me friend
Is your heart ticking right
When you can’t help but delight in people’s pain
Make them feel bad for your self contraction
The lack of power you feel inside yourself
But I’m the one that’s bad because I choose not to live your lies and talk your bullshit
I say look in the mirror and
Take that knife and keep slicing away at your own flesh
Until you feel the pain of your own bones
Singing to you the truth you refuse to live
Have sex in your own blood and create something new for yourself
Free yourself from this craziness and
Enter the madness I live in
The kind where love lives in the most potent of wild
I fucking dare you, and only then will we ever talk the the same language
And you actually have the respect to look me in the eye and
Say, I understand.

-fuck religion


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The Rage

It’s a quiet a simmer
That rage
Each time you drop in deeper and deeper still
It’s nails digging into a wound you’ve done everything to protect
Wide open
Forever picking at the stitches
Masking it with the right words and behaviours
So no one can ever see what you’re afraid of seeing
This rawness you want to stay hidden
Yet it festers and it grows
A rage so big you want it to consume you
Oh and you do
You want nothing more than to show the world how dark it is in here, don’t you?

You don’t fear death and you don’t fear pain
You fear being trapped
Living an existence that you know isn’t fucking real
But you’re too afraid of not fitting in with the same fucking clones out there
The same ones masking the same bullshit
So you pretend, and keep pretending
Then soon, here and there it starts to slip
That rage of yours
You say something that’s out of your ‘character’
And it drives you to pick that fight, say exactly what’s on your mind
Fucking conjure that chaos
Get revenge..and it’s all fucking delicious and you mean it don’t you..

We’re both smiling now aren’t we..

Part of you wants to drive that knife in
But a bigger part of you wants to be free
It’s freedom.
Freedom to be yourself
No matter how dark
How fucking weird, how offensive it may be to some
You just want to breathe
To know what it’s like to be the real you without giving a flying fuck what anyone thinks..

And if you got this far, that isn’t a big ask
To be you
To be free
That rage is asking you something over and over again
It doesn’t go away because there’s always more, there’s always more..
Are you listening?
Because the only person you need to confront,
The only person you really need to love, to commit and not abandon
To be present to be that freedom, to know..

Is you.

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Artist- Guy Denning, 1965

Peeving – False positivity and how it fucks with healthy relating

So some of you know me, and you know I can’t stand the love and light fake fuckery spiritual shit show. It’s irritating, fake and smothered in denial of what is serious emotional pains and issues that need to be addressed with constant presence, and not swept under the meme rug, picking up the right ‘spiritual’ lingo say a few fucken ‘right’ phrases that’s been repeated endlessly by thousands of others, and then keep shutting down every person in their way that feels any other feeling and emotion that isn’t positive or happy. Fuck off cunts.


Before I explain further let me share with you two posts I posted on my Instagram page, the first hit a few people hard I got messages, some polite and some not so polite which I welcomed, because yeah being called a cunt is more real than the polite bullshit I received. Think I’m a cunt, well I think you’re one too, a fake cunt because you’re all happy la la on your page but you didn’t want to cite your anger on my page in case it was seen. I rest my case. So here’s the first –



‘I know I’m not the only one feeling this, because the constant masking of positive bullshit is just that.
How is everyone posting positive shit when most of us are rage full and depressed? Wouldn’t it be a breath of fresh air to just talk out whatever you’re feeling without putting a positive twist on every little fucking thing.
I get the growth and the love, but love isn’t all growth and warm hugs. Sometimes it’s a kick in the cunt out of nowhere and it’s painful, messy, fierce and can be destructive as fuck at times and I’m talking about the relationship with just yourself.
You want real, then put a bit of real behind it which means being honest. Not a carefully thought out constructed over share with spiritual fuckery all over it. I’m writing this in bed eating my raw pudding and it’s awesome by the way. Show the world who you really are. Let’s have some real talk.
I read somewhere last night some woman that I don’t know saying she’s learning how to make love to her heart. Really? Fucking really now? I’m gonna go make love to this pudding right here and I know I’m not the only one sick and tired of the BULLSHIT.
Night all 🍧

This isn’t taking a dig and standing on my soap box with my cunt stick, this is serious. Why? because this fucks with healthy relating. Let me share the second Instagram post I posted hours later and I’ll explain. So here ya go…

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‘I pissed people off with my previous post (yes via message mostly) and I say fucking fantastic. This is the problem. Everyone wants to post agreeable shit, positive la la crap where does that get anyone and anywhere and it nowhere gets you near real positivity. Most of it is masking some deep and serious wounds beneath it all, trauma wounds that’s just being replayed over and fucking over again washed over with an image, talk the lingo and there you go ya spiritual. Of course you’re not.
Where’s your vulnerability, the honesty the realness of who you are in it all? The mess.
How do we really know if we really like one another and really get on if we only ever show one side of ourselves? If we don’t have the backbone to be and say what we feel,  and what we think?
Where’s the real relating going on here, the challenge and growth of it?
I see all the time people believing they’re great friends until they see another side of the person or they realise they don’t agree on every little thing. Yes it’s fucking okay not to.
I would never want anyone to think I’m nice and kind because I’m not. I’m not just that. I can be, but I also can be a cunt. No one is nice all the time, that’s anxiety. And here lies the problem of fake fuckery.
The fear of who you really are. That wound that tells you to be good and agreeable all the time, it’s huge isn’t it.’


Right, so let me go into it more. From day one we’re taught what’s good and what’s bad, but over time we’re taught and shamed that natural human qualities, feelings, thoughts, and emotions are bad so don’t express that shit like anger, grief, unhappiness, rage, fear anything that doesn’t fit the happy I’ve got my shit together box. We’re manipulated to feel guilty if we’re feeling, thinking or expressing an opinion that doesn’t fit this little shitty box, so what most do is convince themselves that everything’s okay even though they’re breaking inside. They put a smile on their face even though they’re raging, they keep quiet when they really want to scream for help and this cunt society has done that. If you’re one of those cunts, please check yourself, we are damaging one another loves.

So every time someone says something that isn’t positive or empowering or has a different opinion they’re shut down, shamed a lot of the time instead of having those uncomfortable conversations that isn’t a quick fix which most people are addicted to, you know the anxiety that’s attached to hiding who we really are.

There’s no real relating going on, no one is showing who they really are because everyone’s afraid of being judged or rejected and the shaming is getting worse therefore no healthy relating or expression is happening because no one is showing who they really are. Think about some people you’ve met and gotten to know, and maybe you showed parts of yourself choosing to be vulnerable and they walked away from you or had a problem with it, sound familiar? That’s the bullshit I’m talking about. I’m not talking about toxic behaviour here, that’s another thing.

Everyone seems to be offended by every little thing that what’s being created here is a shut down of humanity, of real humanness. Real discussion and more importantly relating. Without real relationships and vulnerability without the toxic bullshit of course, this is why people are hungry for real connection, because there is none, but in saying that you have to be okay with feeling uncomfortable at times and have those conversations you’ve been taught not to have and more importantly showing the hidden parts of you, that you’ve been shamed to believe are bad or don’t fit.

I’ll leave it here, food for some serious as fuck thought loves. This is serious because without the real and raw, it’s going to spill over which it has and continuing to and we’re destructing at a rapid rate, it’s become toxic and our earth which is all of us is suffering for it.

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Doll Making

Doll making is used all over the world in many different cultures though most know it as voodoo dolls mostly from over sensationalised coverage in movies seeing it used to cause harm only, smearing African culture and Vodou as a practice that it’s bad or evil, not the case at all. Far fucking from it. That’s another discussion which I will go into at some point. I will skim the surface for a few reasons why dolls can be used, and skimming the surface because it isn’t a practice I would elaborate on because there’s always unskilled and inexperienced practitioners that believe they’re more experienced than what they actually they are.

Dolls are not only created to harm but to heal and a lot more in between. I think it’s important to eradicate this misconception as it’s another misconception around folk magic practices. An experienced practitioner can use a doll however he/she needs. Dolls can be used to hold residual energy of a person that is living or in spirit so not only to cause harm, it can be used to heal. For those that have a challenging time letting go of someone they love, a doll can be used to bridge the spiritual and the physical. How you feel about that is personal to each practitioner, but it can also be used to ‘ground’ a person that has died to inflict continual torture so the person does not rest.

Dolls can be created to protect, to use in the form of communication and to dominate. When I speak of protection, it’s manifesting the power of protection in the doll and for more experienced practitioners, drawing down and channelling residual energy of a protective spirit. Yes it can be used to manifest the residual energy of a spirit you’re working with, but again you need to know what you’re doing and how to care for it. This is a skill that takes years to master. It can only be manifested by a practised and powerful witch with strong mediumship ability. This is potent magic in the hands of a skilled practitioner. It isn’t something to play or fuck with.

You see mostly nowadays, dolls are created with basic materials usually just cloth with bagged in herbs, stuffing, but the more raw and elaborate a doll is manifesting very specific detail of the energy the practitioner feels and knows, the more power and potency it holds. An experienced practitioner has a strong connection with spirit world, and the potency of the doll becomes effective as soon as they hold the person or reason of creation and begins to source out materials. It’s almost like conception and the gestation period because you feel the energy moving as soon as you decide to create a doll. There ‘s something about manifesting a human like form with such focus, care and will. It has a life and power of it’s own, and the sad thing these days you see so many not respecting the gift of doll making seeing it as something to grab attention just to take another picture on social media, but when dolls are used for a specific purpose and it’s power valued, posing on social media showing ‘look what I can do’ takes a big part of it’s essence away from the lack of respect. Yes, that’s my opinion and knowing.

There’s a way to construct dolls that isn’t taught in books, but a knowing that makes them potent as fuck which I’m not going to share. But what I will share are these pictures below. Have a look at this African fetishes, then click the link to read more beneath the picture.


Click here to read more on the photograph above:

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Ancestral Magic, Expression of Raw Wildness

I saw the doll you made for me
I was shown before you did
So imma make one out of clay just for you
Juice it up real good
From the oils grandma told me to make
Then I put things in your mouth I’m not gonna tell
Pinned your eyelids shut
Put knotted cord in your heart drenched in crossroads dirt and herbs uncle said that’ll work
I put somethin real special in that stomach of yours
Had some pins made especially for you friend
I put them in singin a song my aunt taught me
I let it dry and
Drenched it with honey and let the ants feed on ya
Your magic don’t work here woman
My ancestors have my back for da longest time
And what you throw
I know how to grow more power from
They taught me that too.

I haven’t met many Australians that have a strong relationship with their cultural background. A lot of folk magic and witchcraft have been taken from books and not from their own roots. Book craft as I call it, is really superficial and doesn’t hold much power.
Real witchery is ancestral, it’s a knowing in your bones. It’s a loud voice that doesn’t stop speaking.
What most don’t understand is with folk magic, anything goes. It takes care of anything that’s needed to be taken care of, and all the hoo har of not harming a person doesn’t exist here at all. There’s no threefold law, there’s nothing like that. You take care of what you need to take care of. You take care of your business and use what you know when needed.

I spend most of my time healing people and there’s always the other loud part that needs expression.
Ancestral work isn’t fluffy, the raw wild wants to play as much as it wants to help, and to grow power all of you needs expression. It’s loving yourself hard knowing there’s no bad side, it’s nature, human nature but we’ve all been taught there a parts of who we are that are bad. By society, religious abuse and let’s not forget the pain of intergenerational trauma which is woven into our families so the push to be good all the time is an always pressure in this so called civilised society.

It’s not civilised when we’re taught over and over again to deny our real nature, that it’s okay to abuse nature, to constantly take from her and never give back. To not care for her. Certain races have certain privileges and others don’t, let’s be real here. The rich and the poor, the constant division. Nothin civilised about it.
The oppression of who we really are feeds the confusion and self doubt, there’s no freedom there and that’s exactly what society wants.
You’re not free, you’re controlled and your ancestral exploration will really show you what needs freeing, healing and expression. I’m not just freeing and healing myself, I’m freeing and healing the people behind me and the ones coming after me.
We’re taught to listen to everyone else but our own ancestors and ourselves, the wisdom from our cultures and nature.
All control, why it’s time to come home back to your roots.
While some are over there judging what I do is ‘bad’ I say when you really see yourself and work with your own, have a strong relationship with nature then you’ll see who I really am.

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The Darker Side of Wild – Hexing and Cursing

So we know as witches the deep ongoing relationship we have with the mystery.
And if you have gone deep enough which always consists of many deaths, it pushes you further and further in. The first few times being pushed into deep chaos, it’s incredibly overwhelming to deal with, then you start to smell Bone Mother in the air when she chooses to show herself in your world, the powerful deep which strips you bare of everything that is not real. So you move with her and listen. Act on what you’re being shown and it takes practice.
This isn’t the usual kind of transformation. This transmutation usually lasts for years, how many is different for every witch. It’s dark. Not the usual uncomfortable change most people experience, it’s one that feels like your skin’s being ripped off and every decision is questioned and has to be because from here on it must come from your real self or you’ll be destroyed again and again until you get it.
The deeper you go, your eyes is wide open as you experience it. It has to be, and for me every thread was dissected to know, why I can see clearly and assist people to navigate through their own darkness. I had no fucking choice and I know it’s because these experiences are to show you your own power and gifts.

So we know the mystery is this beautiful darkness that is nothing but something that creates the all and where everything returns to be recreated. We know this level of dark is healing but also chaotic, a wildness untamed and unpredictable.
It takes years to develop such a deep and clear relationship with the mystery which is why it’s important to deal with our emotional body, to heal, know and to see clearly.

As witch, we know the mystery consists of all, both healing and destruction. It’s nature. We also know going this far deep that an expression of both of our nature is to reclaim our power. I say both, because of the duality people keep dividing it into, but it’s one of the same. The power that has been hidden beneath layers of hurts and oppression. We live and grow for freedom. That neither expression is bad and is in balance when we consistently work on knowing and healing ourselves. There’s integrity because our commitment is to love but knowing love has a destructive reactive side. Cause and effect. Just like nature. It is also liberating your ancestral thread and their own knowing and wisdom of having our own backs and refusing to take shit. No shit taking here.

As witch, when you stand in this place and choose to hex it takes you to a deeper darker place that edges on another boundary that pushes the edges to grow confidence to know another place of mystery.
It takes a lot of practice, a lot. It’s not just conjuring up something negative to harm another though that’s where many start and where many stay but it’s more than that, it’s another practice of knowing and it takes a long time because there are things that are hidden that can edge on what feels unnatural but it’s still natural because it’s part of the all. Learning to not fear in this place but acknowledging the fear when it’s felt is essential. Using your insight in all has knowing and wisdom, it also teaches you to trust yourself, strengthen your grounding by always learning to stand in the eye of chaos and not lose your footing.
It is up to you as a practitioner how far you’re willing to push and be committed to your own edges of growth. For me, I keep pushing not because it’s ego driven, because it feels completely natural to. The next evolutionary steps.

Hexing isn’t just conjuring harm to another, it’s more than that and it’s also not all negative as many people may think. Every time you can be present with what you feel in this place, another layer of fear is stripped and more knowing, deep deep ancestral knowing that has been pushed under from years and years of oppression.
Standing in this place, you conjure up what you want to create for the person or people in mind but within this space I’ve tapped into ancestral wisdom that is so deep, that hex will take a while to run its thread and may not even be able to be uncrossed by any practitioner. It is what is. That’s my power that I can use if needed.
Anyone that tries to make anyone feel bad about that after everything that’s been explained is just scared, and you know I don’t blame them.
It is not a walk for just anyone, and I have been shaken myself many times entering that level of dark, that now I don’t feel or fear because I know how much further I can walk in this place before it feels like I’ve pushed it too far before I was ready.
I love it. I’m just as passionate about it as healing. I spend so much time healing that to do this work is like letting a big part of me to run free.
And that’s what it is isn’t it, pushing your own boundaries, for more freedom.
If I’m able to go this deep what others would say the opposite to healing, how clear and far do you think I can reach in to heal another because I can? Yes, pretty fucking deep. If you can’t hex, you can’t heal, you would’ve heard that one before.

And it’s sexual this place, very potently sexual. You would have walked through way too many dark places in your life to rewild to walk a place like this.
How I describe it is like digging a really really deep hole and the earth is dark and fertile, clean, untouched. That’s what pure sexual energy is when it’s not coloured with insecurities and emotional pain where what you see is distorted by fantasy and you’re so driven by only physical primal pleasure. Nup, not this. When you enter this place after all that growth and bone stripping it’s quiet, dark, deep and pure.
It’s pure mystery that can take you in any which way it wants and you need to be so very careful and have your emotions and feelings in check with such presence or you can cross a line you’re not ready for. Clear intention is needed in this place. Go into this place with chaotic emotions will only fuel the hex, but be careful because you can easily tip yourself over if you don’t know how to channel it and stand in such a deep place with no control.
So hex and cursing is just as much a part of my evolution and growth as is healing, and that’s why you’ll read about both on my page.

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dark crossroads